just stuff

Was sitting here feeling odd and trying to identify what the feeling was. Suddenly realised I am just feeling calm, serene and I love it. Boy's at pre school and baby's in bed ( not for much longer I spect) and I am sitting quietly with no music, no telly, no people, just the hum of the laptop.

Is just a brief 10 minutes in my day that nobody wants anything from me - soon it will all start to build up again and my stress levels will soar but as long as I can have one of these interludes once or twice a week then I can cope.

Got Boy's school report today - nothing shocking in it - mentioned his speech probs but we knew that, wondering if I should chase up about his speech therapy, has been nearly 8 months since his assessment tho they did say could be up to a year.

Right - off to read a bit more of my new jodie picoult book before M wakes.

Do you need a wee? Do you need a wee? Do you need a wee?

My poor little boy must be so sick of hearing me ask that - even I am sick of hearing it. Potty training, I have decided is my least favourite stage of child raising and unfortunately seems to be lasting a long long time. I have completley confused him with all my different methods. Sometimes he gets a sweetie, sometimes a sticker , sometimes if he gets enough stickers he gets a toy, I have no idea what I am doing and neither it seems does he.

The pressure is on now tho - school hols are approaching and he's going to be in 2nd yr of pre school in sept. Am going to be so depressed if he can't get himself to the toilet by then. Beginning to wonder if his baby sister will beat him to it at this rate.

Went round to my sisters late night for a pimms and pizza night - forgotten how yummy pimms is but also very easy to drink a hell of a lot of it without realising. Got home and watched the first episode of torchwood rented from amazon ( mmmmm captain Jack Harkness) but ashamed to say I don;t really remember that much of it - think I will have to rewatch it tonight.

Off to soft play this aft I think. Had big day planned at local kids farm but looked like rain and the baby has been messing us around all day - up and down with her naps, on her 3rd now at 2pm. Don;t really fancy softplay but got to get out of the house or me and Adam will go loopy (er)

Can't wait till quarter past 7 - feet up, glass of wine, bar of crunchie dairymilk and a bit more torchwood - bliss.

Eaten too many jelly beans and feel sick. Doesn't actually take many jellybeans for that to happen. Funny things - I can't decide if I love them or hate them. I used to hate them - then they brought out the 92 flavours and I quite like matching up the colours and see if I can work out whether the one I am eating is bubblegum or cotton candy ( I can't usually) but the more I eat, the less I like them so I think it could be the end of the road for me and jellybeans.

going to have to get out of the house this afternoon - 3 yr old getting bored of episode after episode of lazytown and the baby is sooo grumpy. Really want a duvet day today. Need a cold plunge pool in the garden I think on days like this - something to shake me out of my lethargy.

I don;t really know what a blog is - feel so old. Quite fancy practicing my typing a bit tho and it may be cathartic to ramble where noone actually has to read it. I tried keeping a diary on the computer once but didn;t really work. I doubt this will either but you never know.
Introduce myself I guess - I'm a bored housewife - not sure how I got here - few years ago I was a hip skinny 22 year old who assumed there was a glittering career around the corner and a life filled with parties and cool people. Then I met my partner, got very broody and had to have kids NOW and now I am stuck in a little village in the fens with a baby and a toddler , spending too much time on this bloody computer waiting for something to happen.

Don;t get me wrong, I love my kids and my husband works very hard so that I don;t have to and I know I'm really lucky. All my single friends are getting closer to 30 and panicking that they haven;t had kids and I am glad really that I have got it out of the way as I would have def wanted them at some point and now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully when the kids are older I will get some kind of life back for me.
So - aim at the moment for me is to try not to get too fat and gross. Try and be a good mum to my kids and try not to turn into an alcoholic. Will keep you posted.